How does the song go? "Shoulda known better..."?
That is I think going to be the anthem for the next 10 days as I live this little cruising adventure.
The first sign was really the cab driver that took me to the port in Amsterdam. He asked me "are you not a little young to be going on a cruise? I assumed my passenger was an old person." He redeemed himself by showing me where Anuk's house was in Amsterdam when he heard I had gone to Eurovision.
The second sign was check in. I haven't heard some many whiny, complaining people in my life. They gotta get 2000 of us on the ship at once people - there is gonna be a line! Heaven forbid you try to cut in the line - those people were like a three legged deer in a David Attenborough doco. Toast.
The third sign was the way they all lined up in the casino waiting for the ship to depart and the pokies to be switched on!
The best way I can explain the ship is that it reminds me of Vegas. Not the classy Bellagio/Palazzo type Vegas I love, but the Harrah's/Flamingo/Imperial Palace Vegas of old (maybe that is the dated pokies and buffet talking...).
Thankfully the ship is full of bars - and I have a drinks package. Speaking of drinks - did you know tea flavoured vodka was a thing? I didn't, but it is tasty...
So - ship life? It is not so bad, but sea days suck. They are claustrophobic. For us, day 1 was a sea day. They have "activities" on sea days. Given I did not want to make a macramé bracelet, or do a Zumba class, my options were limited. In 10 degrees and pouring rain I wasn't keen on the pool either (plus the large number of overweight, elderly men with no shirts on in the hot tub was...off putting...).
I made the mistake of walking up near the spa where they insist on giving you a tour. Take note - "tour" means trying to sell you teeth whitening and a weight loss scheme that appears to involve dressing you as a mummy and zapping you with starter cables like a flat battery (but you'll lose 8 inches!). I instead found a window seat, a pot of tea and a book and settled in for the afternoon (comfiest chairs on the boat in the cafe).
I think my biggest problem is the people on the ship. There are two nationalities on this ship whose accents I can hear over everyone else. I am torn some moments between throwing them overboard, or myself. They are horribly ignorant too. There are staff on the ship from all over the world, all with their home country on their name tag. The two women in the nail salon are from Jamaica. The looks on their faces yesterday was priceless when the American woman getting her nails done at the same time as me asked (slowly, of course, despite their perfect English) "how did you learn to do this - do you even have personal care services like nail salons and hairdressers in your country?". I looked at the lovely lady doing my nails and said "this job must require a lot of patience." To which she replied "sure does, and biting your tongue".
Today we got to get off the boat in Rostock Germany. So glad I am not with the nutters who caught a 6 hour round train trip to Berlin. It is pouring rain and only 10 degrees. I was happy with my Rostock sightseeing and return to the warm, dry, cafe on deck 5.
We did however go to something I would refer to as Strawberry World! Such awesomeness.
It even has its own mascot.
They gave us strawberry cake for lunch.
There was strawberry wine and juice to try as well.
And they have one of the biggest collections of teapots in the world. Everywhere you looked - strawberries and teapots...
They also had some interesting lollies - though not sure about herring lollies...
We also got to see a very awesome astronomical clock (that still works!) in the only church in town to survive WWII.
They also took us for a walk past the "fountain of joy". Though we were assured the locals actually call it the "porno fountain" by the guide...
I actually thought the old socialist storyboards were more fitting of the title...(bottom left hand corner!).
The town of Rostock also has a new medical clinic. It's name translates to "heavens door". I don't think I would have much confidence in a doctor who names his practice that. In case you are wondering - this is what the door to heaven looks like:
Well, the ship is starting to fill up again as everyone returns, cold and wet, from their field trips. Time for me to go stake out a quiet comfy spot on the ship to see me through to dinner.
That is I think going to be the anthem for the next 10 days as I live this little cruising adventure.
The first sign was really the cab driver that took me to the port in Amsterdam. He asked me "are you not a little young to be going on a cruise? I assumed my passenger was an old person." He redeemed himself by showing me where Anuk's house was in Amsterdam when he heard I had gone to Eurovision.
The second sign was check in. I haven't heard some many whiny, complaining people in my life. They gotta get 2000 of us on the ship at once people - there is gonna be a line! Heaven forbid you try to cut in the line - those people were like a three legged deer in a David Attenborough doco. Toast.
The third sign was the way they all lined up in the casino waiting for the ship to depart and the pokies to be switched on!
The best way I can explain the ship is that it reminds me of Vegas. Not the classy Bellagio/Palazzo type Vegas I love, but the Harrah's/Flamingo/Imperial Palace Vegas of old (maybe that is the dated pokies and buffet talking...).
Thankfully the ship is full of bars - and I have a drinks package. Speaking of drinks - did you know tea flavoured vodka was a thing? I didn't, but it is tasty...
So - ship life? It is not so bad, but sea days suck. They are claustrophobic. For us, day 1 was a sea day. They have "activities" on sea days. Given I did not want to make a macramé bracelet, or do a Zumba class, my options were limited. In 10 degrees and pouring rain I wasn't keen on the pool either (plus the large number of overweight, elderly men with no shirts on in the hot tub was...off putting...).
I made the mistake of walking up near the spa where they insist on giving you a tour. Take note - "tour" means trying to sell you teeth whitening and a weight loss scheme that appears to involve dressing you as a mummy and zapping you with starter cables like a flat battery (but you'll lose 8 inches!). I instead found a window seat, a pot of tea and a book and settled in for the afternoon (comfiest chairs on the boat in the cafe).
I think my biggest problem is the people on the ship. There are two nationalities on this ship whose accents I can hear over everyone else. I am torn some moments between throwing them overboard, or myself. They are horribly ignorant too. There are staff on the ship from all over the world, all with their home country on their name tag. The two women in the nail salon are from Jamaica. The looks on their faces yesterday was priceless when the American woman getting her nails done at the same time as me asked (slowly, of course, despite their perfect English) "how did you learn to do this - do you even have personal care services like nail salons and hairdressers in your country?". I looked at the lovely lady doing my nails and said "this job must require a lot of patience." To which she replied "sure does, and biting your tongue".
Today we got to get off the boat in Rostock Germany. So glad I am not with the nutters who caught a 6 hour round train trip to Berlin. It is pouring rain and only 10 degrees. I was happy with my Rostock sightseeing and return to the warm, dry, cafe on deck 5.
We did however go to something I would refer to as Strawberry World! Such awesomeness.
It even has its own mascot.
They gave us strawberry cake for lunch.
There was strawberry wine and juice to try as well.
And they have one of the biggest collections of teapots in the world. Everywhere you looked - strawberries and teapots...
They also had some interesting lollies - though not sure about herring lollies...
We also got to see a very awesome astronomical clock (that still works!) in the only church in town to survive WWII.
They also took us for a walk past the "fountain of joy". Though we were assured the locals actually call it the "porno fountain" by the guide...
I actually thought the old socialist storyboards were more fitting of the title...(bottom left hand corner!).
The town of Rostock also has a new medical clinic. It's name translates to "heavens door". I don't think I would have much confidence in a doctor who names his practice that. In case you are wondering - this is what the door to heaven looks like:
Well, the ship is starting to fill up again as everyone returns, cold and wet, from their field trips. Time for me to go stake out a quiet comfy spot on the ship to see me through to dinner.
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