Golden Russia

The next ports of call aboard the SS Geriatric are St Petersburg and Tallinn. First up, two days in St Petersburg.

It just so happened that we were there for the birthday of St Petersburg. Which was crazy. Thousands of people in squares eating and drinking and listening to music. The was a choir of 4000 people that sang, even an ice cream festival! (Canberra's centenary celebrations could have done with a ice cream festival...).

We started our trip to St Petersburg in royal style - at the Hermitage. Thankfully we got in a full hour before the public opening, which meant we could actually see things for the first part of our visit (we were not so lucky once the doors opened and thousands of people flowed in). Catherine the great was not only a lover of the baroque style, but the queen of opulence. She probably single handedly kept the price of gold high during her rein. Today the outside is painted mustard, but in her day, that was all gold on the outside.

Inside the opulence continued.

Room after room of treasures and gold and paintings by masters. There were whole rooms of Renoir, Picasso and Matisse. 

The were precious stones, intricate floors and Italian marble.

You could understand why the revolution of 1917 happened after seeing this. Sadly though, after the revolution many many items were sold to help the country financially (including all of their Faberge eggs). In WWII when the Germans got to Leningrad all of the treasures were packed up and shipped to Siberia to help protect them from looting and theft. In all though, there remains enough treasures here that if you wanted to look at each piece for 1 seconds it would take over 7 years!

Next we took a walk (YES!!!! Walking!!!!! Not a bus for a hundred meters down the road and man oh man did they bitch and whinge and moan at that). We went down to the cathedral. We thought there was a massive line

But it turned out it was just a 4000 strong choir lining up to perform for the birthday concert.
Once inside, I was a little blown away. I had thought the Hermitage would be the most impressive building I would see all day, but I was wrong. The ceilings in the church were amazing. And yes, more gold!

Lunch was caviar and stroganoff (invented as legend goes because Mr Stroganoff hurt his hand in a sword fight and needed to eat food that didn't require both a knife and fork). And vodka. You didn't have a water glass, you had a vodka glass.

We also went to the Church of Resurrection, also known as the Church on Spilled Blood. It looked a bit dull on such a grey day, but with the sun shining on it when we drove past the following day the fold looked like fire in the sun.

In the evening we hit the ballet - Swan Lake - in the theater at the Hermitage (Catherine the Great wanted people to be cultured).

The following day it was off the Catherine's palace in Pushkin, and the gardens at Peterhoff.
Again, Catherine loved her gold. again, the brown painted areas were gold once upon a time.

Now, this palace is not original. A lot of it has been rebuilt and restored to what it once looked like. Like most destroyed historical places in Europe, we can blame this on the Nazis. The Germans burnt e palace down during the siege of Leningrad. Whilst they started at the palace packing to send treasures to Siberia as well, they ran out of time, so whilst a lot was salvaged, many things were destroyed.

The place is pretty opulent. So much so that Elton John got married here.

The gardens were also pretty spectacular.

Speaking of gardens, after this we moved on to Russia's version of Versailles. This place was built by Peter the Great. Who it turns out knew a thing or two about gravity fed water systems and fountains.

Again, everything was gold. Apparently the water strips the gold leaf off and it has to be re done once a year. Hence the €18 admission fee I guess!

He invented many "jester fountains" where people walking through the gardens could get soaked by stepping on the wrong trigger stone. Apparently this didn't make him very popular with many of his guests!

The following day I woke up in Estonia. Tallinn was awesome. A beautiful little medieval city whose geographic location have out them repeatedly at risk of conquerors through history. You can still see the Russian influence.

The old town is UNESCO listed and hence many old buildings remain.

Had to giggle, medieval city and who do I see? Shrek. Turns out even he and donkey need a taxi now and again.

I basically spent the day walking and enjoying a lovely day. There was a restaurant that served only dishes with garlic - including the dessert!

I loved the humour in the town as well - with door handles like this.

All in all a beautiful little city.

One final comment on Russia and Estonia - you can get the souvenirs tailored for anyone. Hockey fans.

Even political junkies.

Still bummed I couldn't get a photo of the 'women of Bill Clinton' nesting dolls. Was perplexed as to why Monica was a bigger doll than Hillary...

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Giant jigsaws and reindeer soup

Yay - ports! I have come to love the sound of our joker of a Greek captain announcing we are docked, have been cleared and can disembark. Yesterday it was Stockholm, and today, Helsinki.

Our stop in Stockholm was far too short. At 6 hours it is the shortest port stop of the entire cruise. How on earth is it fair that on a cold rainy day we get 14 hours in Rostock Germany but only six hours on a warm sunny day in Stockholm? Boo to that.

We started our day in Stockholm checking out a panoramic view of the city, and driving around to get our bearings. It would seem our tour guide thought that the only thing we knew about Stockholm was that it was where the girl with the dragon tattoo was set, and all references we were given related back to the books or movies (thought we would at least get an ABBA reference).

Our first stop was city hall - which is where they hand out all the Nobel prizes with the exception of the peace prize (which Norway gets the honour of deciding instead).

I also learned something interesting - Nobel invented dynamite, hence the fortune he acquired to set up the prizes.

Next we headed for the Vasa museum. Back in the 1600's the king wanted a new fleet of navy ships, and one of the biggest ever built was ordered by the King if Sweden. On it's maiden voyage she sailed for 23 minutes before sinking, killing 18 people on board. It lie at the bottom of sea for 333 years until it was salvaged in the 1950's. In 14,000 pieces. Despite being tasked with the worlds biggest jigsaw puzzle, she was put back together again. Because the water is so cold, there's we're no little varmints in the water to eat the wood, so the pieces had all survived. It was easy to see in hindsight why she sunk. Essentially, she was top heavy and simply fell over. She is covered in lions to scare the enemy!

Next we headed for the old town. Also a rather pretty spot. We had a few hours free time which I used to purchase the tackiest spoon in Sweden for Gaye's collection, and have Sofia teach me about Swedish pastries. Sofia assures me ABBA once stood in this square.

Waiting for the bus at the royal palace we all got a treat. We watched Bill Clinton get out of a vehicle and head inside the palace - secret service and all. Caused quite the commotion.

We spent the afternoon cruising through the archipelago, checking out all the summer homes. There were activities to join in if you were not keen on watching the world go by with a martini (my preferred 'activity') but I drew the line at joining in the line dancing class. There is some skepticism from the likes of Tracey that there is actually a line - but I drew it. I swear!

 
I woke up this morning in Helsinki.

I spent the morning looking around the city itself. The buildings in the senate square were by far the most impressive.

Now, Finland is of course where Santa is from. Man even has his own shop...

I am however starting to think of Santa as a mobster of sorts - man seems to not only have his own stores, but he clearly has an effective way to deal with reindeer who misbehave...

And it is not just soup - there were reindeer hotdogs and pies as well at the market. It was nearing lunchtime and I was starting to panic about what I had signed up for given I was going out to the countryside to have a "traditional Finnish lunch". I couldn't eat Rudolf. Maybe I should be vegetarian for the day?

But it was all good. We went to a lovely farm about 40 minutes from Helsinki.

We ate what was probably one of the best meals I have ever had. Ever ever. We started with a creamy stinging nettle soup. We decided it was a mix of the best of a broccoli chowder and a mushroom soup (despite not including either broccoli or mushrooms!). Next they gave us fish stew and boiled new potatoes. Again, the plates were cleaned. It was all washed down with home made beer.

For dessert - we had rhubarb and strawberry cake with blueberries and lingonberries from the farm.

It was unbelievably awesome and tasty.

We then moved on to an ancient medieval town called Porvo. We strolled and shopped and basically just hung out in the sunshine.

We even got to see a wedding at the church.

Tomorrow, we start 48 action packed hours in Russia. But for now, I leave you with one of the funnier things seen today in Helsinki. Pretty unfortunate name for a food van...

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Cabin fever aboard the SS Geriatric

How does the song go? "Shoulda known better..."?

That is I think going to be the anthem for the next 10 days as I live this little cruising adventure.
The first sign was really the cab driver that took me to the port in Amsterdam. He asked me "are you not a little young to be going on a cruise? I assumed my passenger was an old person." He redeemed himself by showing me where Anuk's house was in Amsterdam when he heard I had gone to Eurovision.

The second sign was check in. I haven't heard some many whiny, complaining people in my life. They gotta get 2000 of us on the ship at once people - there is gonna be a line! Heaven forbid you try to cut in the line - those people were like a three legged deer in a David Attenborough doco. Toast.
The third sign was the way they all lined up in the casino waiting for the ship to depart and the pokies to be switched on!

The best way I can explain the ship is that it reminds me of Vegas. Not the classy Bellagio/Palazzo type Vegas I love, but the Harrah's/Flamingo/Imperial Palace Vegas of old (maybe that is the dated pokies and buffet talking...).

Thankfully the ship is full of bars - and I have a drinks package. Speaking of drinks - did you know tea flavoured vodka was a thing? I didn't, but it is tasty...

So - ship life? It is not so bad, but sea days suck. They are claustrophobic. For us, day 1 was a sea day. They have "activities" on sea days. Given I did not want to make a macramé bracelet, or do a Zumba class, my options were limited. In 10 degrees and pouring rain I wasn't keen on the pool either (plus the large number of overweight, elderly men with no shirts on in the hot tub was...off putting...).

I made the mistake of walking up near the spa where they insist on giving you a tour. Take note - "tour" means trying to sell you teeth whitening and a weight loss scheme that appears to involve dressing you as a mummy and zapping you with starter cables like a flat battery (but you'll lose 8 inches!). I instead found a window seat, a pot of tea and a book and settled in for the afternoon (comfiest chairs on the boat in the cafe).

I think my biggest problem is the people on the ship. There are two nationalities on this ship whose accents I can hear over everyone else. I am torn some moments between throwing them overboard, or myself. They are horribly ignorant too. There are staff on the ship from all over the world, all with their home country on their name tag. The two women in the nail salon are from Jamaica. The looks on their faces yesterday was priceless when the American woman getting her nails done at the same time as me asked (slowly, of course, despite their perfect English) "how did you learn to do this - do you even have personal care services like nail salons and hairdressers in your country?". I looked at the lovely lady doing my nails and said "this job must require a lot of patience." To which she replied "sure does, and biting your tongue".

Today we got to get off the boat in Rostock Germany. So glad I am not with the nutters who caught a 6 hour round train trip to Berlin. It is pouring rain and only 10 degrees. I was happy with my Rostock sightseeing and return to the warm, dry, cafe on deck 5.

We did however go to something I would refer to as Strawberry World! Such awesomeness.



It even has its own mascot.

They gave us strawberry cake for lunch.

There was strawberry wine and juice to try as well.

And they have one of the biggest collections of teapots in the world. Everywhere you looked - strawberries and teapots...

They also had some interesting lollies - though not sure about herring lollies...

We also got to see a very awesome astronomical clock (that still works!) in the only church in town to survive WWII.

They also took us for a walk past the "fountain of joy". Though we were assured the locals actually call it the "porno fountain" by the guide...

I actually thought the old socialist storyboards were more fitting of the title...(bottom left hand corner!).

The town of Rostock also has a new medical clinic. It's name translates to "heavens door". I don't think I would have much confidence in a doctor who names his practice that. In case you are wondering - this is what the door to heaven looks like:

Well, the ship is starting to fill up again as everyone returns, cold and wet, from their field trips. Time for me to go stake out a quiet comfy spot on the ship to see me through to dinner.

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Copenhagen Crazy

First country of this trip is down already! Denmark, done and dusted.

Rather than stay in Malmo (where Eurovision was being hosted this year) we decided to go 14kms down the train tracks and instead stay in Copenhagen. That was an awesome decision. The hotel we picked was in a superstar location. From my window I could see the central train station. Made for an easy trip home when you got off the train tired and with aching feet from standing for the past 5 hours!

The buildings in Copenhagen are beautiful. My fav being the town hall - though I suspect that has more to do with watching Danish crime tv shows and seeing it featured in those!

For the most part, the weather was stunning. It was warm and sunny and perfect for wandering around aimlessly. On Saturday in particular I did just that. I went to check out the marble church - which was one of the lovelier churches I have been in over the years.

I turned around and found the royal palaces behind me. Point of note for fellow Australia's - Danish people want to know one thing "do you know Princess Mary?". Australia is a big country folks, and whilst we are proud to have donated one of our own to be the future Queen of Denmark, we are not all BFFs! Mary does however have a royal guard.

I kept wandering along the canal. After all I was on a mission. I wanted to go see the famous little mermaid statue. On my way there I started to notice there were a LOT of people around. I put that down to it being Saturday, there being glorious weather, and carnivale... Then I walk up a hill and see THIS

No, that is not one cruise ship, nor is it two - it was FIVE cruise ships all in a row. All parked near the statue I wanted to see. %#*£¥.

Maybe it is not so bad, I tell myself. Maybe they are all on field trips in town. Nope - they all at the statue!

Took forever to get a shot of the statue with so many people around. But I got it in the end.

We spent an awesome evening at Tivoli gardens. This was someplace I really wanted to go. I learned last year at DisneyWorld that Tivoli was Walt Disney's inspiration. Inspiration might be a bit much. Dude pretty much ripped the place off! It was pretty magical at night. Lots of fairy lights.

Alexa and I skipped the rides (Jo and Tim braved the Demon coaster) but there were pommes frites (hot chips) and Belgium waffles for dinner. Is that an awesome Friday night or what?

One of the main reasons I am looking forward to going back next year (after for the first time in as long as I can remember the song I loved the most actually won!) is for the food. Is the anything better than a Danish open sandwich?

Speaking of food and drink - they had Eurovision water at the arena - water with, wait for it, elderflower and rhubarb!

Weather turned to rubbish on Sunday - just in time for the Copenhagen marathon. We braved the cold and rain to go and cheer a few runners at the 17km mark (okay, we were searching for coffee - but we did clap, and listen to the band).

So after yet another awesome Eurovision, it was time to leave Copenhagen. Whilst this was made easier by knowing I would be back there next year - it did mean leaving Jo and Alexa as they headed for Paris, whilst I headed to Amsterdam. Seeing Gerald and Sofia again was also awesome (and my head didn't hurt for a few hours because I had Swedish speaking company!). The amusing part of the trip (the cruise!) starts today :)

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