Gastronomic Gascony - Part un (aka 1)

So, I have decided to skip over the three days in the UK. Mostly because the weather was fantastic and all I did was wander around, shop and go to the theater. All in all a good few days. Worth a mention though is the new M&M World in London.

Following that little interlude, I headed to Toulouse in southern France with Miss Cleo. We are currently residing in a tiny village of 15 permanent residences on top of a hill, named Gramont. So small it took us about a minute to walk to the end of town.

This part of France is famous for foie gras. Which made me rather happy. Gotta love having three types of foie gras each day as a standard course at lunch and/or dinner.

We have a charming chateau next to us that dates back to the 1400s. That pretty much sums up the highlights in town.

Oh, and they have a new disabled parking space (required by law). Just not sure where the car occupants are headed...

We have gone for little field trip to the farmers market, and another to a local town. Named Condom (nope, actual name and not auto correct!).

In Condom there is a statue for the three musketeers. Haven't worked that one out just yet...maybe a Trojan horse might have been more appropriate...

On Saturday night was the village annual festival. We got to listen to people from all around the village telling a story in a theme. A man with an accordion then led us around the village to the next story. There were ogres, postmen, ghosts and even ponies...Given it was all in French that pretty much sums up how much of it I understood!

This was followed by a massive dinner. Only problem was dinner started with us all in paper hats, rubber gloves and aprons, all concerned we had to cook our own dinner. Turns out it was just a little bit of fun in the restaurant. Though this was a sight that frightened a few...

We also went to a small village that basically worship cats. See there was a cat lady who hundreds of years ago refused to let the villagers eat her cats. They were the only cats left in the village. When the plague came they were one of the few villages left with cats and they were able to run the rats out of town and all subsequently survived. The cat lady saved them all. There is even a statue in her honour.

You can also go on a little scavenger hunt through town looking for all the cats hidden on the buildings. Like this one.

We have also done some cooking. Everything from apple tart (yes, this is mine!)

to potatoes that look like swans.

Have spent the day making creme brûlée, chicken ballottine and duck fat roasted potatoes. Off to muster the crepe suzette before dinner tonight!

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The original 'sin city'

After just four days in Amsterdam I am starting to question just where Vegas gets off calling itself sin city. I've been to Vegas a few times and I don't recall seeing strippers and hookers inside the snow globes in souvenir shops, or hash cookies in the corner store. I also don't recall their being marijuana plant seedlings at the flower market or acceptable use of drugs policies posted at McDonalds! Move aside Las Vegas (it is ok, I still love you).

I quickly worked out the difference between a coffee shop and a cafe (the former usually is pumping out the Doors or Hendrix and you usually feel like you might fall in the canal if you inhale as you walk past, the latter will serve you a cappuccino). Others are a little harder to confuse.

I decided to heed the warnings and hit the Anne Frank museum first thing in the morning to avoid the crowds (inside is tiny and they limit numbers at any one time). Despite the cold and the rain every other tourist in Amsterdam had the same idea.

Next up was the flower market. Confusingly there wasn't a lot of actual flowers at the flower market, it was more bulbs and seeds. Tulips and marijuana plants seemed to be the biggest sellers.

I went to a cheese shop. Or two. Okay it was more like 5, but I wanted to try the samples, so I had to go on a cheese shop crawl so I didn't look like I had been inhaling the plants at the flower market and have everyone think I had the munchies (when in fact I just love cheese).

I went for a wonder around the canals, which are oh so pretty, and oh so disorientating. Have never gotten so lost, so often. Thank god for Google maps "find me" function.

I did a few other museums as well. I hit the Rijksmuseum and saw a few Rembrandt's. I visited the Van Gough museum and saw both "sunflowers" and "irises". I made it to the Amsterdam Hermitage (which was cool as they had a Peter the Great exhibit and I could see all the pieces that were missing in St Petersburg) and the Museum of Handbags and Purses. Sadly, I sent the longest amount of time at the latter.

A lot of the buildings I saw were on a lean. I was assured it wasn't the weird smelling coffee shops making the buildings lean. Some, those that lean forward, are on purpose. They were done that way so that in the 1600's goods could be pulled up to the attic without hitting the first few floors of the building. Those that lean to the side however are losing their foundations to the marshy like land below.

One of the highlights however was a walking tour of Dutch food. First up, there was French fries. With satay sauce!

Next up, there was Dutch pancakes!

We had fresh mint tea along with them.

Then there was herring (I am developing a hatred of herring this trip...).

To get rid of the taste of the herring we went to an old bar that makes their own alcohol. I had chocolate peppermint schnapps.

We also did a little tour of a supermarket. Two things I learned. 1) urban Dutch are lazy in the kitchen, and 2) they love potatoes. This was just a portion of the pre peeled and cut potatoes you could get in the fruit and veg section.

They like weird milk. Like cherry milk.

They eat ham, made from horse!!!!

And you can have your chocolate bar in a liquid form.

To top off all the food. I went to the Magnum store. Here, you design your own ice cream. You start with a vanilla magnum. You pick the chocolate it gets dipped in (milk, dark or white) and three toppings. Never let me design one. I picked rose petals, sea salt and caramel toffees. It was bad. Really bad. I managed only half of it before it ended up in the nearest rubbish bin.

Tomorrow, I am off to Mother England for a few days :) bring on a West End bender!

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The Celebrity Constellation

I thought I would pop up a few pics of the ship. Yes, I know, I have been a little mean calling it the "SS Geriatric" but I have found over the past few weeks that cruise ship passengers are different to others travelers. They are less....active. Even when a shore excursion clearly says it is "strenuous" and requires walking several miles and up lots of steps people who are not so mobile still pay and sign up and then complain bitterly and ruin it for everyone else. I think that coloured my views. So, if I was to sum up what I hated the most about the past 12 days I would quote my friend Wheelo "people Belo, people...".

Anyway - happier thoughts. Here is the ship next to the Emerald Princess in port in Tallinn.

She holds 1950 passengers, and 999 crew. Here she is with the Emerald Princess side by side.

The cabin was bigger than I thought it would be, particularly given I had to take what I could get (cruise people apparently book YEARS in advance. I booked 2 months in advance, so not a lot of choice!).

On sea days you had to find ways to entertain yourself. Anyone for grand foyer staircase golf?

Or you could head to the theater. You could see anything from lectures to cooking demonstrations to the crew talent show (the latter swayed strongly between cringe and hilarious, though I still have "Tyler the latte boy" in my head when I order coffee).

The main place to eat dinner was the main dining room. They still serve snails on their cruise classic menu!

You can do a tour of the galley and see the massive kitchen operation for yourself.

They even showed us some of their skills on the tour - like fruit and veg sculpture.

The food that came out the kitchens wasn't too bad. Though there was a LOT of it. I can do a huge dinner once a week or so, but every night for 12 days had me feeling unwell. Some nights I actually felt I was being force fed. Yes, I could have stopped eating, but it would have been a huge waste of food.

I did love my toffee strawberry for dessert in the Italian themed restaurant - Tuscan Grill.

You could go for a swim, but the weather wasn't really cooperating on my cruise. Hence the ghost town on the pool deck.

I checked the newsletter each day for a game of shuffle board. It had always been a game of legend in the movies. But alas, it wasn't to be.

If all else fails. Play bingo.

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Golden Russia

The next ports of call aboard the SS Geriatric are St Petersburg and Tallinn. First up, two days in St Petersburg.

It just so happened that we were there for the birthday of St Petersburg. Which was crazy. Thousands of people in squares eating and drinking and listening to music. The was a choir of 4000 people that sang, even an ice cream festival! (Canberra's centenary celebrations could have done with a ice cream festival...).

We started our trip to St Petersburg in royal style - at the Hermitage. Thankfully we got in a full hour before the public opening, which meant we could actually see things for the first part of our visit (we were not so lucky once the doors opened and thousands of people flowed in). Catherine the great was not only a lover of the baroque style, but the queen of opulence. She probably single handedly kept the price of gold high during her rein. Today the outside is painted mustard, but in her day, that was all gold on the outside.

Inside the opulence continued.

Room after room of treasures and gold and paintings by masters. There were whole rooms of Renoir, Picasso and Matisse. 

The were precious stones, intricate floors and Italian marble.

You could understand why the revolution of 1917 happened after seeing this. Sadly though, after the revolution many many items were sold to help the country financially (including all of their Faberge eggs). In WWII when the Germans got to Leningrad all of the treasures were packed up and shipped to Siberia to help protect them from looting and theft. In all though, there remains enough treasures here that if you wanted to look at each piece for 1 seconds it would take over 7 years!

Next we took a walk (YES!!!! Walking!!!!! Not a bus for a hundred meters down the road and man oh man did they bitch and whinge and moan at that). We went down to the cathedral. We thought there was a massive line

But it turned out it was just a 4000 strong choir lining up to perform for the birthday concert.
Once inside, I was a little blown away. I had thought the Hermitage would be the most impressive building I would see all day, but I was wrong. The ceilings in the church were amazing. And yes, more gold!

Lunch was caviar and stroganoff (invented as legend goes because Mr Stroganoff hurt his hand in a sword fight and needed to eat food that didn't require both a knife and fork). And vodka. You didn't have a water glass, you had a vodka glass.

We also went to the Church of Resurrection, also known as the Church on Spilled Blood. It looked a bit dull on such a grey day, but with the sun shining on it when we drove past the following day the fold looked like fire in the sun.

In the evening we hit the ballet - Swan Lake - in the theater at the Hermitage (Catherine the Great wanted people to be cultured).

The following day it was off the Catherine's palace in Pushkin, and the gardens at Peterhoff.
Again, Catherine loved her gold. again, the brown painted areas were gold once upon a time.

Now, this palace is not original. A lot of it has been rebuilt and restored to what it once looked like. Like most destroyed historical places in Europe, we can blame this on the Nazis. The Germans burnt e palace down during the siege of Leningrad. Whilst they started at the palace packing to send treasures to Siberia as well, they ran out of time, so whilst a lot was salvaged, many things were destroyed.

The place is pretty opulent. So much so that Elton John got married here.

The gardens were also pretty spectacular.

Speaking of gardens, after this we moved on to Russia's version of Versailles. This place was built by Peter the Great. Who it turns out knew a thing or two about gravity fed water systems and fountains.

Again, everything was gold. Apparently the water strips the gold leaf off and it has to be re done once a year. Hence the €18 admission fee I guess!

He invented many "jester fountains" where people walking through the gardens could get soaked by stepping on the wrong trigger stone. Apparently this didn't make him very popular with many of his guests!

The following day I woke up in Estonia. Tallinn was awesome. A beautiful little medieval city whose geographic location have out them repeatedly at risk of conquerors through history. You can still see the Russian influence.

The old town is UNESCO listed and hence many old buildings remain.

Had to giggle, medieval city and who do I see? Shrek. Turns out even he and donkey need a taxi now and again.

I basically spent the day walking and enjoying a lovely day. There was a restaurant that served only dishes with garlic - including the dessert!

I loved the humour in the town as well - with door handles like this.

All in all a beautiful little city.

One final comment on Russia and Estonia - you can get the souvenirs tailored for anyone. Hockey fans.

Even political junkies.

Still bummed I couldn't get a photo of the 'women of Bill Clinton' nesting dolls. Was perplexed as to why Monica was a bigger doll than Hillary...

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