Zombie sushi and turtle sex

So, we have departed the cruise and are safely back on dry land.

First things first - we needed to celebrate my birthday. We managed to find a tapas restaurant in Barcelona that was 'created' by the same chef that brought the world El Bulli. We had no idea what to order, and thankfully our waiter came to our rescue, asked us how hungry we were, and told us he would just 'bring things'. The first course was very reminiscent of El Bulli. They looked live olives, but both the texture and the flavour were something altogether different. 

After this the food just kept on coming. We ended up with something like 17 different dishes. That included the best smoked salmon I have ever eaten...

The worlds cutest calamari hot dog...

Smoked fish...

And the worlds tastiest tomatoes (with a side of ham croquet)...

We ended up leaving with very full bellies and very light wallets a few hours later.

Saturday morning we were armed with reservations to check out some of the Gaudi sites we missed last weekend. We finally made it into the cathedral.

This church is nuts. So far they have been building it for 130 years. They estimate in modern terms they have spent about $1.1 billion dollars. One woman has spent the last 20 years doing nothing but the stained glass windows. If you ever aspired to be an evil genius or a cult leader I suspect Gaudi is someone to study. How he managed to convince so many people in Barcelona to actually invest such vast amounts of money into his crazy schemes is to be admired. 

One idea of his that didn't quite get the same level of enthusiasm was Park Guell.

Whilst the centerpiece was built, it never quite became the housing estate he envisaged, with only the display home ever being completed. Of course the 'dragon' is what everyone comes to see.

For dinner that night we decided to hit up the Japanese/Brazilian fusion restaurant near the hotel. One of the best dishes we got we decided to call zombie sushi, because the salmon looks an awful lot like a brain...

On Sunday Riin was off to see something artsy (I mad a micro sleep somewhere around the word gallery) so I decided to hit up the aquarium and zoo.

Turns out the fish of the Mediterranean are very grey and brown. Hence the hoards of European tourists around the one teeny tiny coral reef tank. The place featured some awesome octopuses.

And you could jump on a moving walkway through a massive shark tank which had a lot of tiger sharks.

There were also some great exhibits of fish eggs (little fishy babies on a clothesline).

After the aquarium I went to hit up the zoo. The animals at the zoo seemed very bored with the tourists.

Those that did not look bored were sleeping.

Or hiding. I couldn't find any of the lions, tigers, cheetahs or Jaguars supposedly in the enclosures. It was almost the great Snow Leopard incident of 2000 all over again...

Despite it being Sunday one of the elephants was still able to get an appointment with a podiatrist.

If you grew tired of walking you could hire a car to drive around.

Among the animals the birds were the most interested in showing off.

There was even the incredibly rare Chilean flamingo....which only has 2 legs...

The turtles were the other end of the spectrum. I'd go as far as calling them exhibitionists. Had to laugh whilst one poor parent tried to explain what was going on in the enclosure.

I think I spied a candidate for parent of the year at the zoo. Toddler was screaming and crying and wanting Mum's ice cream. Mum didn't want to share, so they placated the kid by giving her Dad's beer. Stopped the tears at least.

I was a little worried about the welfare of some of the animals. Are bears supposed to form at the mouth? (Can't find an answer on Google...).

There were so many different coloured birds.

My new fav bird though is the vulture. I don't think I'd ever quite appreciated how big they were.

And I think I found the smartest statue in Europe. Finally, the solution to the bird poo problem.

Vienna tomorrow!

A Lannister always pays his debts, unlike a Skase...

So, after recovering from the excitement of Etnaland and Penguin gelato we awoke on Wednesday morning in Valletta, Malta.

We soon discovered we were not the only Australians in town, with the HMAS ANZAC parked next to ship.

Malta as it turns out was the field hospital for ANZAC troops during the battle of Gallipoli in WW1 (or gal-e-polly as the audio on the hop on/hop off bus tour pronounced it). The island was apparently the most bombed place on earth at one point during the war. 

Malta these days is known for a number of things. Their traditional glass blowing, jewellery making and pottery. They are also known for being the setting of a little known television show called Game of Thrones. First stop was Kings Landing, aka Mdina.

The whole town felt like Kings Landing in fact - which isn't surprising given how many of the buildings around the capital had been used as sets for GoT. Even the main harbour where our ship first arrived has been used in shots for the show. 

Valletta is an odd mix of ancient buildings and agricultural land. This is the view from the fortified walls at Kings Landing, back out towards Valletta (or Westeros if you prefer). 

Even taking the bus into the city centre there was no change in the aesthetic of the town. In retrospect it is impressive that the buildings remain so well preserved given the level of bombing that they saw in the early 1900s (not to mention all the times the island was invaded prior to that).

Sadly it was back to the ship after only a few measly hours on land to set sail back towards Spain (we have noticed the pattern here is all day spent at crappy ports, only a few hours in the awesome ones). We braved the main dining room for lunch where this questionable claim was made of the ice cream being served...

I then decided to hit up the spa for a pedicure, following which they made me wear the most ridiculous spa "shoes" in the history of shoes. It was nothing more than a piece of paper! And yes, I am aware that they are on the wrong feet...

It was Italian night, so we celebrated with gelato (the one containing fruit is of course Riin's and not mine). Quite the party had broken out in the gellataria with live music, an Italian sing a long and some line dancing.

Thursday featured a very long day at sea as we approached Majorca. Originally the ship was to have stopped at Tunisia that morning, but the ports were changed after the cruise line we were on was one affected by the terrorist attacks a few months back. So instead, we joined the chase for Skase. We finally arrived in port at around 9pm.

Majorca (birth place of Rafael Nadal and hiding spot for dodgy Australian businessmen) is much bigger than I imagined. The town of Palma is full of yachts and endless ocean front hotel rooms. The cathedral is however the standout landmark.

It was pretty impressive up close as well. 

We even got to wander into the local bull ring (it is still legal in Majorca).

Despite the late hour (approaching midnight at this point) all of the gift shops remained open. The choice of souviners in this town is however pretty questionable. Every store sold the same bottle openers...

If they were too plain you could get these instead...

It was then back to the ship in the wee hours after a hay fever attack or three (thanks for nothing Spring). The boat is currently sailing back towards Barcelona (in some not so nice seas which resulted in me being rudely awoken, on my birthday no less, by the sounds of the people in the next cabin experiencing seasickness) where we will disembark and regain our land legs.

MSC Fantasia - A mini review

So, a few people have asked for some info on the ship and what it is like on board. Today is a sea day (kinda - we get to port at 9pm) so I thought I would put up some pictures and tell you a little about the boat.

The ship has 16 stories and holds 3900 passengers and 1313 crew. 

Once on board the defining feature of the foyer is the Swarovski crystal staircase. 

Most people just stop by to get their picture taken on the stairs. If you want to use it to move between floors be warned - you will be blinded and disoriented by just how sparkly it is! 

The foyer also features the Fantasia Bar which has it's own resident piano man.

Speaking of bars, there are a LOT of them on the ship. You have a choice of the sports bar (where there is always a soccer game on)

There is the Manhattan Bar

The La Cantina Toscana wine bar (which is a great place if you want a snack with the drink - there were lots of savoury nibbles to be had each evening).

There is the Transatlantico 

There is the L'Insolito Lounge (with space for dancing - and this place is packed in the evenings). The downside (or upside depending on your views) is that this is one of the bars in which you can smoke.

All of these bars featured live music in some form in the evenings (one even had a man playing the sax!). There are also three bars on the pool decks. The Gaudi Bar down near the zen area and the two pool bars (which includes a gellataria and a Nutella crepe making station).

There is also a cigar bar (which is really only for smokers, or those happy to deal with smoke) and bars in the casino area.

For those after something a little softer there is the Il Cappuccino bar. Here you can enjoy a coffee or a a cocktail.

They also have pastries on offer on the days you can't face the buffet for breakfast.

The main gellataria, located in the shopping area serves ice creams, cakes, coffee and cocktails. They also do live music and it was not unusual for a party to break out here in the evenings. 

Believe it or not there were even more bars that we just didn't get to. There are no shortages of a spot to have a brightly coloured beverage. They also do special non alcoholic cocktails aimed at kids (not sure how I feel about that one...).

There are two main dining rooms. We were in the Il Cherchio D'Oro. This is where they also serve breakfast and lunch (the other main dining room, Red Velvet, is only open at dinner). You won't go hungry in the dining room. You can have as few as one, or as many as seven courses.

The buffet is a mad house. The food is okay (albeit a little cold at times) but there is a huge selection. Pizza, pasta, salads, burgers, hotdogs, grilled meats, vegetables, cheeses, desserts, fruits, roasted meats and soups. Be ready with your elbows in there though. It is eat or be eaten. Manners seem to go out the window in the buffet. 

There are two speciality dining restaurants where you need to pay extra to eat. We had the early dining so on nights where we missed that because we were in port we opted for the speciality restaurants given how crazy the buffet was some nights (and it was often impossible to find a table in peak hours at the buffet).The first is the aforementioned Sports Bar. Lots of snack foods to eat watching the games on the screen. I highly recommend the fried Camembert.

The other is a tex mex steakhouse. You are served corn chips whilst you wait for your food.

The food there wasn't too bad (but we only tried the Mexican, not the steakhouse side of things).

Up on the pool deck there are endless options to go for a swim, which is handy because a lot of people were keen on that activity. You can take a dip outside. This pool was often quite loud with other activities happening nearby (like exercise and dance classes or bingo). There is a quieter zen pool down at the Gaudi bar.

There are pools inside as well. 

Nearby the pools are the spa - which includes a beauty salon

The view from the spa whilst getting your nails done isn't too shabby...

There is also a gym. In the gym and spa area there is a cafe of sorts where you can get a pre-massage or post-workout drink.

There were also lots of spots to play table tennis (and even organised tournaments for those interested).

There were a lot of kids areas including a play area, waterslide and even a disco aimed at teenagers. There is a mini sports stadium on deck 16 where there were soccor matches you could watch or participate in.

Shopping on board included a camera store, perfume/cosmetics, a mini mart with essentials, jewellery, sunglasses, watches, clothing, handbags and a MSC merchandise store. 

The cabins themselves were quite spacious, and having a balcony was great for fresh air and an unobstructed view as we headed in or out of port.

There is also a theatre to visit in the evening for the daily show.

They ranged from acrobats to a Michael Jackson tribute! Something for everyone.

At most of the ports we visited we were very close to town. This was the view from my cabin Valletta

This was Naples.

This was Messina.

The only time we were some distance away really was Marseille, and there was a shuttle bus you could purchase a ticket for that dropped you into the centre of town. All others were reasonable walking distance. 

In terms of things to be wary of - English speaking guests are a minority, and so I had more than one tour choice that I could not do because of limited English speakers interested (leading to cancellation). If you speak Italian or Spanish you'll be fine, but the English and German groups were the smallest (even though they were combined).

The daily programs were also delivered quite late (often under the door after you had gone to sleep) which made it really hard to plan your day. 

A lot of the activities on board were aimed at the Italian guests, so there was a bit of a language barrier. Even at bingo you had to look at the screen to check you translated the number correctly in your head (though it was good practice!) as they didn't always say it in all languages and Italian, Spanish and German were given preference. 

We were disappointed that we spent the longest period of time in the least interesting ports (Genoa and Messina) and only a few hours in more interesting ports like Valletta and Naples. The stop in Mallorca also seems like a bit of a waste. It is 9pm to 4am tonight. Part of me would prefer we sail right through to Barcelona for an earlier arrival. 

Back to dry land in Barcelona tomorrow.